Christmas Letter 2009

Greetings! Hope this finds you well and looking forward to an amazing 2010. One thing I notice as I get older…time passes faster! I don’t really understand the physics of this, or how it all fits in with the space-time continuum and all, but it does seem to be a constant in my universe…and sometimes I feel that I’ll never catch up! I will, however, try to catch you up on the major happenings in our lives over the last two years!

May 2008 - A new daughter joined our family! Amie married Ryan in a small, beautiful ceremony. She is a treasure!

August 2008 - Ryan & Amie moved to Grapevine and began their careers in education.

August 2008 - Bud & Gayle moved to the country, a little place with about 4 acres about 7 miles east of Abilene.

March 2009 - Wayna moved back home and returned to a job she enjoys and quickly received a promotion!

Summer 2009 - We love summer! The best part of teaching! Bud spent his summer working on our orchard! We now have 34 fruit trees, 5 pecan and 15 shade trees! A total of 54! I worked on decorating the house and caught up on my reading…and we both have a new hobby: blogging! To catch up on Bud, check out his blog at http://www.mesquitemeditations.com/ or you can check out my journey by following my blog http://www.thegentlenessjourney.com/

July 2009 - Adopted a shelter dog into the clan, a Schnoodle (schnauzer-poodle mix) named Abby! She joins our Lab mix, Emma (whose antics you can follow on Bud’s blog)!

August 2009 - Back to work! Bud continues to serve as Director of Special Programs and he also teaches the Reading Clinic at ACU. Gayle is back at Abilene High, teaching Sophomore and Junior English and serving as Technology Liaison.

December 2009 - Enjoying over 5 inches of snow and a white Christmas!

May God bless you with a peace that defies understanding, a joy that comes from doing what you love, and a friend to hold your hand on the journey.

Keep in touch! Love you!

Thanks Giving One Day at a Time: Week 4

Day 22: Our beautiful home in the country...and "coming home" is just wonderful!

Day 23: Music! Christian, Christmas, and so many amazing songs and artists that bring a smile to the heart, a fond memory to mind or even make you sit up and pay attention and THINK!

Day 24: School Holidays! Two-day weeks! And sleeping past 5:05am! Woo Hoo!

Day 25: Pigs and puppies...playing together...priceless! It make me smile...and laugh out loud!

Day 26: Laughter! So healing, so infectious...and so healthy! And such a treasure when it comes from very little people!

Day 27: Our dogs...and unconditional love! You can yell at them (and make a mad face and put them outside) for stealing the ham bone off the counter (the lab) or jumping onto the dining room table to finish off the left-over breakfast sausage (the Yorkie), and they still love you and long for your approval and greet you with a happy tail-wag!

Day 28: The smells and tastes of the season: peppermint, eggnog, pumpkin-spice lattes, pecan pie, turkey + dressing + cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, squash casserole...

Day 29: The amazing community of faith that make up our city! We are so blessed to live in this "buckle of the Bible belt" and I am reminded of this almost everyday! And we are so blessed that we have a strong and talented group of men and women in the armed forces that preserve this right for us!

Day 30: Family...immediate, extended, crazy, sane...all of 'em.

30 Days of Thanks Giving...I am truly blessed.

Thanks Giving One Day at a Time: Week 3

Day 15: Our minister, Rodney Ashlock. He is one of the most knowledgeable and insightful people I know, and I learn so much from both his classes and his sermons...and so much of what I learn is applicable at the moment I hear it...and so much speaks to exactly where my heart is when I hear it!

Day 16: Getting away...time to refresh and relax, time to enjoy a leisurely breakfast, not feeling guilty for not getting all my chores done, time to read, reflect...and just spend time with Budrick!

Day 17: Christian Radio! What an incredible blessing it is to be able to hear music that is positive and encouraging and that edifies! I am especially grateful for KGNZ, 94thefish, KLTY, The Journey with Tom Dooley, Air1 and especially that early Christian radio station I listened to in Houston in the 70's.

Day 18: Answered prayers...and an AMAZING God!

Day 19: The opportunity to share of myself and help others...and all of those who do this for a living! Abilene is truly blessed by the works of Love & Care Ministries, Mission: Thanksgiving, the Christian Service Center, Meals on Wheels, and so many others...

Day 20: Having everyone home and in their own beds...I never sleep better than when all of my kids are home! Ryan and Amie don't get to come home often enough in my book-they are so busy-but when they are here and Wayna is home...Aaaahhh!

Day 21: Dependable electricity and (warm) running water! We are SO blessed to live here in this place and at this time. At the Zambia Tree of Life Mission Dinner tonight, we learned that even the largest hospital in that nation is not so fortunate!

Thanks Giving One Day at a Time: Week 2

Day 8: The leaves that change color on the trees! I love that one can look at the trees and see that the seasons are changing...the riot of color is amazing...and I love that a tree may be crimson on the west side yet still summer green on the east side...all at the same time on one tree! I love watching the trees mark the passing of time...the oak and maple in our yard, and all the amazing trees that I see each day. Even in this small west Texas city I can appreciate our amazing technicolor God at work!

Day 9: Friends...and reconnecting with old friends on FaceBook! It is a good thing to have people who share your interests and values and memories...very blessed indeed!

Day 10: Wonderful smells and fragrances and all the memories and imaginings they evoke...coffee (it smells even better than it tastes!), chocolate, balsam, pine, cedar, baking bread...

Day 11: Prayer...that we can turn to God and pray for anything, but especially for those who are hurting. Answered prayers are wonderful, as well, and I am mighty thankful for many of those, too, but just being able to vent and unburden oneself to such a wonderful listener is just so...comforting and such a wondrous release...

Day 12: the ANTICIPATION of the approaching Christmas season! Just looking forward it so exciting! I love when I see the first billboard (Garden World in mid-October), the first Christmas lights (around an apartment front door three days before halloween), and hear the first Christmas song on the radio!

Day 13: Pedicures, primping and pampering! I love visiting Simply Diana and Stephanie!

Day 14: Christmas Carousel, Christmas in November, Taste of Sam's, Baack's (and other) Holiday Open Houses...such wonderful opportunities to share the anticipation of the season with other like-minded souls just fills me with Christmas Spirit!

Thanks Giving One Day at a Time: Week 1

Day 1: Watching the joy my husband experiences in planting trees and growing our orchard (34 fruit trees, 5 pecan trees and 15 shade trees)! He planted our two newest trees today, and he takes such delight in bringing life to our little place in the country.

Day 2: Wildflowers! As I drive in to school from our little place in the country, the wildflowers just amaze me, and it is as if there is always something blooming, and something different every few weeks...from the very earliest spring through these late days of fall. Even now, there are little white flowers and very tall yellow ones, and on the bushes outside the Public Health Clinic--bushes that have been green all summer--there are now little tiny red flowers! And the wild roses are blooming now, too! So beautiful! Such a pleasure for the eyes!

Day 3: Blogging! I LOVE this way of being able to express myself...even if no one is reading it! It somehow adds to my sense of purpose, and it makes me smile, as well!

Day 4: The fact that when I walk into Java City on Wednesdays, the barista, James, knows what I order and when I walk in will ask, "Will it be the usual today?" The usual! Me! I have a "usual!" For some reason, this makes me extraordinarily happy...to know that someone I barely know acknowledges my presence in the world! It make me feel alive and special all at once! And yes, maybe a bit silly, too!

Day 5: Sunshine! I love that warm feeling of the sun on my skin when it's cool outside. If I take a moment and just let the sun warm me, it makes me feel alive and aware of all the amazing things that are around me. I especially appreciate this in cooler weather, but sitting on my porch swing with the sun shining on my legs is nice all year long!

Day 6: Journal Time! I love the opportunity for "me time" that I carve out each Friday morning! I only wish I could take my computer with me and blog from there, as well!

Day 7: Coffee with my mom! Most every Saturday, my mom and I are blessed to be able to get together for coffee and catching up! We've lived in different cities for most of my adult life, and I am so glad that these last few years we have been able to share this time.

A Month for Giving Thanks

One of my favorite things to do is count my blessings...a mental daily gratitude journal of a sort. And the month of November just seems a perfect time to STOP and take a moment each day to not only think about, but stop and acknowledge, my gratitude and thanks for one of the incredible blessings in my life! In my journal each November, I create a calendar, and for each day I jot down something specific for which I am thankful. Sometimes it is little things I choose to include, like the smells of coffee and peppermint and Christmas trees, and sometimes it is something big, like our home or our jobs or our cars. Sometimes I believe that people get so wrapped up in simply getting through each day, trying to conquer it while preparing for the next, that we forget to stop and take a deep breath, and simply revel in being alive at this time and in this place. Though I certainly realize that some people are not in a position to find much to be grateful for at times, I want to believe that there is always something to make each person smile...at least I hope this is true.

And so I challenge YOU to make a list of things for which you PERSONALLY are thankful, one thing for each day of the month of November...and it doesn't matter if anyone else understands why you have included something or not! It can be anything that gives you joy or makes you smile! As you do so, I believe that you will find that gratitude is truly empowering! Happy Thanks Giving!

By the way, what am I thankful for today? Watching the joy my husband experiences in planting trees and growing our orchard (34 fruit trees, 5 pecan trees and 15 shade trees)! He planted our two newest trees today, and he takes such delight in bringing life to our little place in the country. I am truly blessed to be a part of this!

The Business of Busy-ness

Sometimes I feel that I am simply mimicking my dog, Abby, and just spinning in circles! It seems that, as Lewis Carroll says, the "faster I go, the behinder I get!" Some days I never seem to catch up with myself. I thought life would be a bit slower and less busy when the children were grown and living their own lives...but this is simply not true, and I'm not quite sure why. I suspect that along the way, we have forgotten what is truly important and have become a bit overconfident in our own abilities...at least I fear this is true of me, and that is why I have trouble saying "No!" sometimes when I am asked to do something...because they OBVIOUSLY need me, and after all, who else could they get to do this thing? See what I mean? It's not that I think the world couldn't get along without me, it's just that I must be thinking somewhere in the recesses of my mind that if I don't do it, who will?

Recently, The Husband wrote an article for our church bulletin that speaks to this exact problem. Here's his take on it:
"Last week Emma [his dog] and I began clearing out some more of the land out back of our place. Well, actually I cleared while Emma scoured the whole place, sniffing, listening, hunting, digging, and chasing anything that moved. There wasn't a corner, hole, or brush pile she didn't inspect. When she couldn't find something big like a rabbit, she was plenty happy tormenting some poor defenseless crickets. It was a very busy day for her and that night she was so tired, she didn't even bother to eat. This, for Emma, is very unusual; she just plopped down on her bed and slept the rest of the night.

Ever had one of those days? Those days when you were so busy, had so much to do, so little time, that when you finally had a second to sit, you were gone--sound asleep? We are busy people, aren't we? Too busy, I'm thinking. Ever wonder if one day we will wake up and find that we have missed out on all the important things in life? Could it be someone wants us that busy? Isaiah says this in quietness and rest is our strength. Jesus invites us to come and take shelter in Him when we are tired and weary, and he promises us rest. This week, take some time to rest in the wonderful wide open arms of Jesus."

Perhaps this week I should just stop and find a moment in each day to spend some quiet time with God, resting in the arms of Jesus, and really think about what I need to accomplish. Then with renewed strength and perspective, take this day that is a gift from the Lord and use it for the things that really matter...and let those things that are not vital wait for another day. What do you think?

"...In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..." Isaiah 30:15.

Thought for the Day

So what to do? Two Things, it seems to me. At least two.

Use up each day. Fill it overflowing with good. Deliberately enjoy it.

Two, begin now. Mend a fractured friendship, mail an overdue letter, repair a broken heart, lay aside a griveance, act on a noble impulse.

As we all know, "The night cometh."

~ Lanny Henninger

pushing past plateaus

I love my ruts...but I hate it when my weight is in one! I've been on a plateau for 3 weeks...no matter what I tried, it seemed, it made no difference! The evil scale stayed the same! But finally this week, there was some movement! A small move, but an acknowledgement that I was making an effort. I am afraid that I am not going to reach my original goal...it's just been so much harder this time, and there have been obstacles I've never encountered before. But I am determined, and even if I don't lose the 20 pounds by my goal date, I am NOT going to stop working toward that goal...AND I WILL ACHIEVE IT! I need to keep watching what I eat, keep moving and walking, and I need to keep seeing those pounds slip right off! Thank you, Father, for your help here and in all things!

It's 100 Days til Christmas Day!

I love the anticpation of Christmas! It is truly the best! Counting the days, planning, shopping, cooking, and all the joys that go along with this season...the cooler air, the hint of something fun just around the corner, the opportunity to plan a surprise for the people I love! Come on, ring those bells! Light the Christmas tree! OK...we can wait a few months for that one! :)

Striving on...

The Lifestyle Challenge is chugging along, but I must admit it is more of a challenge that I had expected! Maybe because I'm older? What a hateful thought! The fact is this: if I am going to lose weight, I am going to have to take in fewer calories than I burn each day, and if I'm not finding the time to move more and walk, then I am going to have to take in even fewer calories! I can do this--with God's help. And I must focus on improving the body image I have in my head, as well, and I must strive more for contentedness.

Verses for the Journey

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:3

"Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." Psalms 107:8-9

Day 1...again!

It's official - I am claiming a "do-over" for this Lifestyle Challenge. Praise the Lord for second chances! I had such great intentions as a embarked on this aspect of my journey, but totally discounted the demand and stress that the first weeks of school bring! This first week back with teachers was all about the eating out and catching up...and I knew it would be--I definitely should have planned better! The first week with the kids was a bit easier (no more getting away for a relaxing lunch out), but by the time I got home, I was just so exhausted. If I am to take this seriously and make an intentional choice to change my lifestyle, I must get more disciplined in all areas of my life: bedtime routine, food choices, walking and exercise. I am coming to realize that making healthy lifestyle choices is all about the self-discipline...talking the talk is SO much easier than walking the walk. I know what to do, but I make the wrong choices anyway! I understand better why there are so many overweight folks in the health care industry - they also know what to do, but when you are so tired at the end of the day, the desire to conform your will to the self-discipline that is needed to make the wise choices is just so hard!

I've always heard that once you do anything for three weeks, it becomes a habit-perhaps this works with changing a lifestyle, as well. We'll see...I'm going to start this week with a fresh focus and a bit more sleep, and do better!

Back to School!

It's Friday...finally! It's amazing how the first week of school can seem soooo long! The first week of classes should never last five days...remember when school would start on a Wednesday and you would get to slowly re-acclimated to the routine of the new school year? I always forget how exhausting the first week of school is, but I figured out in the shower this morning why I am so tired: I am getting up three hours earlier, but only going to bed 1 hour earlier! My circadian rhythms are all off...and that's about the only rhythm I have. And Dr. Oz said something the other day about circadian rhythms and diet, something about if your circadian rhythm is off this can affect your eating patterns...and I thought "That's it! It's not me! I'm not off; it's my rhythm!"

Honestly, though, I get home, get supper on the table and sit down, and then it happens: I become almost instantly zombie-like! My arms and legs feel as though they are lead weights, and my energy is completely zapped! And you may have guessed, though my eating patterns once I get home aren't bad (it's hard to be tempted when your napping in your chair!), the patterns at school with all the stress of the first week back and a new prep and taking care of my responsibilities there keep me from making wise choices! I have definitely let me determination slide, and I am not happy about this at all. But I don't want to beat myself up either--perhaps starting a new lifestyle challenge when my day-to-day was about to get crazy was not the best plan.

Time to regroup...can lifestyle challenges have do-overs? Other aspects of life do, and I really need one here. I need to get back on that gazelle and continue to track my challenge to live a healthy lifestyle and get my act together! A do-over is not admitting defeat...I am not defeated, in fact, I have not gained a pound from my starting weight on Day 1 of the challenge. Time for a deep cleansing breath and a fresh focus. Let the games begin...

Day 8 - Having a Daily Schedule is a Good Thing!

So, I started this challenge just over a week ago, and did pretty well the first couple of days...and then after a flurry of meals out (with teacher friends I hadn't seen in months!), I came to a few conclusions. Lessons learned, if you will...

• Starches are NOT my friends!
• Eating out can sabotage a diet in NO TIME! Always plan ahead and check out the nutrition facts online and choose your meal BEFORE you get there and see what everyone else is choosing!
• 30 minutes of Gazelling will NOT make up for fried onion strings and jalapenos at Chili's!
• Italian (my all-time favorite!) like Carino's and Joe's should be avoided at all costs-reserved for special occasions only! (Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise that my family does not like Italian very much...I just thought they were crazy!)
• Fitting in the required fruits, veggies, dairy and fiber doesn't leave room for much else!
• Having a routine (and being back in school) makes forming a habit much, MUCH easier!

It's definitely time for some refocusing! I very much want to reach my 20 pound goal by October 5th! I do understand so much more about eating out, but it's still one of my favorite ways to relax with friends...this will require some forethought and self-discipline! I must say that keeping a food journal through these days has taught me much more than I ever imagined! I will continue this practice as I continue on the journey...

TLC-Day 2

Today was a bit tougher-though I didn't realize it until I sat down with my food journal and calculator just a few minutes ago! Making a lifestyle change really does require vigilance and commitment...I hope this gets easier after day 21! I've always heard that once you do something for 3 weeks it becomes a habit...and habits you don't really have to think about so much! That will be a very good thing! But I must say that keeping the food diary is really making me think about what I am putting in my mouth! Right now, though I'm not even hungry one bit, I am really wanting to crunch something. I figured out long ago that I am an auditory eater...I like to hear my food crunch...just eating yogurt without adding grapenuts seems just like sipping a few spoonfuls of cold soup! I need the crunch to satisfy that part of the experience! Crazy, huh? Probably why I love chips and popcorn so much too-that crunch AND the salt!

On the Special K box, it says that if you follow the Special K diet for two weeks (Special K or a Special K product for two meals a day, and a sensible meal for the other meal), you will lose an inch in your waist! I measured yesterday, just to see what would happen-even though I'm not really taking the Special K Challenge. I did once before though, and exceeded expectations! This was a couple of years ago--then the box said that if you followed the Special K diet, you would lose up to 6 pounds in two weeks. I followed the diet plan...and two weeks later, I had lost 9.5 pounds! I did sometimes substitute Fiber 1 bars for the lunch bowl of cereal, but mostly for practical purposes. It's not easy to eat a bowl of cereal from home for lunch when at school!

Today's results: 1477 calories, 30 minutes power walking
11 fibers, 1 dairy, 0 fruits, 3 veggies
Conclusion: I really need to figure out a way to up my fruits and veggies, fit in one more dairy, and still not go over 1500 calories! Probably eating at home and not out for two meals would be a start!

Lifestyle Challenge-Day 1

Day 1: Here we go! Smooth start to this challenge! Stayed busy helping husband with the yard most of the day (planting two trees and a pallet of sod) and that helped a lot! I will say that keeping the food diary will be the hardest...and I know this from experience! In the past, I often began each day well, but after 4pm nothing ever seems to get written down-but NOT this time! I also know that this is not condusive to success, hence the challenge! I heard on Dave Ramsey the other night: "If you keep on doing the same thing, but expecting different results, you define insanity!" That is my problem-I've just been stabbing at the food diary off and on since January, and not doing it well, but still a bit surprised that the pounds were not just falling off!

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

This time around, I'm committing this to the Lord, and I pray for success and thank him for his faithfulness.

Results for today: took in only 1373 calories! Yea!
Exercised (gazelling) only 20 minutes (need to work on this!)
16 fibers, 3 fruits, 2 veggies, 1 dairy (need to work on this, too!)

The Lifestyle Challenge

OK, so I've been thinking it's time to get serious about getting healthy-then I can be fit and fabulous at 50, right? Now to be honest, I've been on many, MANY diets, but the diets I've had the most success with (able to get to a healthy weight and maintain for several years each time) have been those that had me counting calories, keeping a food diary, and moving. But I want to make this change for life, not just for a few years, so I need more than a diet, I need a lifestyle that I will want to live with for the rest of my healthy and fabulous life, right?

So I started looking at an eating lifestyle that I can live with, meal plans that will satisfy me AND my family...and fit into our crazy schedule when school is in session and no one gets home before 6, but we still try to eat before 7. I've been perusing books, reading articles, catching up with Dr. Oz and Dr. Roizen, and checking out the newspaper where I found two ads that really intrigued me: At NutriSystem, there was an offer to lose 20 pounds in 8 weeks, and another ad from Metabolic Research that suggested one could lose 25 pounds in 5 weeks. I got to thinking, if I considered all of the things I had learned and combined the differnet premises, I could probably do just as well on my own AND save hundreds of dollars on the journey!

+I need to keep my calories between 1200 and 1500 per day.
+I need to exercise at least 40 minutes a day--powerwalking plus some core/weights work.
+I need to plan a menu my family could live with.

Doctors Oz and Roizen suggested that reducing choices is a great way to keep track of calories and to keep on track. So, I came up with three different meal plans for breakfast and for lunch:

Breakfast #1: whole grain toast, jam and 1 cup of 1% milk (170calories/4fibers/13proteins)
Breakfast #2: cereal and 1 cup 1% milk-->Special K, 1 cup (230/1/11)
-->MiniWheats, 24 biscuits (300/5/12)
Breakfast #3: SF Carnation Instant Breakfast w/ 1% milk (170/4/13)

Lunch #1: Fiber 1 Bar (150/9/3) and fruit
Lunch #2: Oatmeal Bar (220/5/4) and fruit
Lunch #3: Subway 6inch (320

So...breakfasts under 300, lunches between 250 and 350. That leaves about 600-800 for the rest of the day--snacks and a sensible supper! Not too bad. My plan is this--to follow this new lifestyle plan for 8 weeks and see if I can lose 20 pounds without paying all the cash required by these other programs! The challenge begins Monday...and it will be a challenge! We have two (semi-structured) weeks before school starts--those will be the hardest! Once school starts, and we get back to a routine, things will get a bit easier. We'll see...

My Face is Betraying Me!

Which is better...to be a person who has a "transparent" face (meaning that he/she reveals what they are thinking by the look on the face, whether it is disapproval or joy or concern) or to be a person who has a poker face (meaning that the look on the face reveals nothing about what they are thinking)? I have been asking my friends this question all weekend because it hit me sometime in the last few days that I have a very transparent face! According to my family and several friends, you can gage my approval or disapproval just by the look on my face...and I'm appalled! I want a poker face! I don't want my face to betray my thoughts, my feelings or my reactions, especially when my reaction is going to offend the very person I am talking to!

One friend suggests that I should "go for transparency. It's honest and efficient, though riskier (be ready to deal with the consequences of an honest look). I have found that most people appreciate others who don't hide their reactions." I had not considered this aspect before--perhaps people appreciate my (blatant) honesty! But another trusted friend, on the other hand, allows that sometimes you need that poker face, as well: "Most of the time I go for transparent but if you are trying to minister to people sometimes you have to have a poker face. You have to hate the sin but not show shock at what they are wearing or doing to reach them." Good point! And that is my greatest concern--that my face is somehow communicating my judgment ...and we're not supposed to be judging others! I don't intend to hurt feelings or convey my disappointment, but apparently I do, and how can this be a good thing?

How do I learn to have a poker face?

Life is a Journey

Life is a journey, and I LOVE to travel. Here in this place, I want to share my thoughts and observations as I continue on this journey, this adventure called life. I am fascinated and amazed by so much that surrounds me, but sometimes I let the worries of life interfere with that sense of wonder that is in my heart. In Philippians, we are told to let our "gentleness be evident to all" and here lately I have been thinking that my gentleness has gotten away from me. In this place, through this medium, I hope to find my way back to the person I was intended to be, and along the way, strive to be a bit of a blessing to others in the process.

Life truly is a bit of a road to travel, and it always looks like some are driving this road in big, fancy cars and speeding right past us. Some folks just seem to have more fun, while others are facing the potholes of disappointment. We each have our own path to walk, and whether you join me on my journey for a day or for a season or for a lifetime, I hope you enjoy the view as we journey toward the gentleness that is intended for us all.